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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The State of the Union From the Viewpoint of Someone Who Thinks They're All Jackasses.

I didn't watch the State of the Union address last night. Here's what I did instead:
  • Fed the dogs
  • Skyped with my daughter who is in London
  • Spoke with my wife on the phone (she is away for the week)
  • Put the dogs out
  • Did the dishes
  • Looked at kitty pictures on Facebook
  • Watched American Pickers, Pardon the Interruption and the rest of a Saturday Night Live special courtesy of my DVR
  • Read an indictment of the crookedness of the NCAA
  • Put the dogs out
  • Went to bed

Even though I refused to watch the SOTU for the same reasons I refused to watch the Grammies (they're both tiresome retreads of the same old crap), I can pretty much recite word-for-word what President Obama had to say:
  • Tax the rich so things are fair
  • Spend more government money to build things no one wants in order to look like we're doing something
  • Education
  • Windmills
  • Julia
  • Republicans are holding things up
  • Osama bin Laden is dead and al Q'aida is a non-factor anymore except where it is a factor
  • Drones make killing people easier 
  • I want to work for all Americans, especially those who agree with me
  • Poor people need a shot but shouldn't be expected to do it on their own
  • Gun violence is bad and Michelle even went to Chicago to pander to it because I couldn't ignore it anymore after a kid who was at my Inauguration got shot after a year of ignoring the endless violence in my hometown
  • Gabby Giffords
  • Joe Biden is not as dumb as your lying eyes and ears claim he is
  • Beyonce
  • God Bless America
Here's what the Republican standard-bearer had to say:

The rest of the Republican response was pretty much:
  • President Obama is borrowing too much money
  • Hispanics should vote Republican
Don't get me wrong, I like Marco Rubio but what did he actually say? Did he say anything we didn't expect him to say? Did he say anything that tears at the roots of the weeds strangling our economy?


Rand Paul said a few things worth noting in the Tea Party Express response but he got no air time because the Tea Party allowed itself to be painted as racist and crazy:
  • "Both parties have been guilty of spending too much, of protecting their sacred cows, of backroom deals in which everyone up here wins, but every taxpayer loses."
  • "What the president fails to grasp is that the American system that rewards hard work is what made America so prosperous." 
  • "What America needs is not Robin Hood but Adam Smith."
  • "If Congress refuses to obey its own rules, if Congress refuses to pass a budget, if Congress refuses to read the bills, then I say: Sweep the place clean. Limit their terms and send them home."
  • "I have seen the inner sanctum of Congress and believe me there is no monopoly on knowledge there. If they will not listen, if they will not balance the budget, then we should limit their terms."

The difference between the Democrat and Republican parties in 2013 America is the difference between your ex-wife the brunette or your ex-wife after she goes blonde: deep down inside she's still a horrible person who is trying to screw you over.

Maybe it's time that those of serious about the future of America started looking elsewhere for our "leaders."

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