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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tropical/Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy Proves That Maybe We're Not Electing Smart People To Office, Or, The Political Winners and Losers From SUPERSTORM SANDY and NOR'EASTER ATHENA!!!!!!!

In today's episode we'll examine the political winners and losers in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy and the nor-easter that followed.

New York Governor Mario Andrew Cuomo

At an October 30, press conference, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo was incensed about Hurricane Sandy.* He wasn't incensed because of his ineptitude in the face of disaster, he was incensed about Global Warming. People's homes were still floating away in Staten Island, but Mario's less-talented son decided to take the time for some political grandstanding about something which he cannot know is a fact. Right after he blamed all of the rich white people for causing Global Warming he took off after LIPA for doing a crappy job restoring power--several weeks before people realized what a crappy job LIPA did restoring power.

Some of you dingbat party hacks will just say that this is Cuomo being prescient. It's not. This was Cuomo being political because he is a politician, not a leader. I notice Cuomo got real silent when Newsday broke the story that the Long Island IBEW wanted out-of-state power crews to fork over ridiculous amounts of money to various IBEW worker funds.


Andrew Cuomo gets one Sad Rain Cloud Who Is Worried About the Wrong Thing Award for his ridiculous grandstanding about Global Warming while people were still trying to assess whether they were actually even alive or not.







New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg (Alcalde de Nueva York Miguel Bloombito)**

Seriously, Bloomberg is a jackass. That's not just my opinion it's a fact. To wit: On November 2nd, Mike endorsed Barack Obama for President. That's no surprise, Mike is a Democrat who ran on the Republican ticket in 2001 because the Dems wouldn't have him. But what proves Mike's complete and total jackassery is why he endorsed Obama:
"We need leadership from the White House — and over the past four years, President Barack Obama has taken major steps to reduce our carbon consumption, including setting higher fuel-efficiency standards for cars and trucks."
"His administration also has adopted tighter controls on mercury emissions, which will help to close the dirtiest coal power plants (an effort I have supported through my philanthropy), which are estimated to kill 13,000 Americans a year." - (From Mike's column in the Bloomberg News, November 2)
Let me translate: Mike actually believed Barack Obama in 2008 when Barack said his election was the beginning of the lowering of sea levels. Seventy-two hours after Sandy, Mike endorses Barack Obama because Barack is against Global Warming. You idiots in New York gave this chump three terms, when all the law allowed for was two.

Mike doesn't seemed too bothered by carbon emissions when he jets to his house in Bermuda most weekends, or when he drives around New York with a house air conditioner built into his SUV in an effort to skirt New York's idle rules which are meant to curb street-level emissions. Can you say hypocrite?

But wait! Let's not forget Mike's insistence that the New York City Marathon be run four days after the storm passed. Mike saw no problem with those smoke belching super-generators (enough power for 400 hundred small homes each) chugging away to give power to the people who came to New York to jog. Mike also had no problem assigning 7,000 police officers to work the Marathon while New York's emergency services teams were stretched to the unit. Yeah, yeah, I know, Mike eventually canceled the Marathon. Even a blind man knows when its raining.

Mayor Mike gets the "Naked Idiot In A Festering Putrid Swamp Trying to Pull A Jackass Who Is Ultmately Smarter Than He Is In For A Swim Award" for his utterly pathetic performance in the aftermath of SUPERSTORM SANDY AND NOR'EASTER ATHENA!!

Council Speaker Christine Quinn (left in picture, holding weeds and whipping the jackass in an attempt to make Mike (right) look less foolish) gets a special mention for her Twitter tirade urging America to build a seawall like they have in Denmark to protect Fire Island and other vulnerable areas of the shore. Apparently Christine thinks money is no object and that nature can be tamed.

By the way, in case the subtlety was lost, the jackass in the picture represents the people who voted for Mike Bloomberg three times.

President Barack Obama

He said all the right things but didn't necessarily follow-up with his promise to cut the red tape. That's what presidents do--they talk and hope people forget what they said.

President Obama gets one Chuck Todd (D-NBC) Genius Political Savant Award for playing to the cameras and then getting the hell out of the way.







Vice-President Joe Biden

Joe was in Seaside Heights, NJ, on Sunday, November 18. He had this to say:
"So as the president said, when he was up here with the governor, we’re not going anywhere. We’re not not going anywhere. And you’ve got a homeboy in the deal who gets it." 
The "homeboy" Biden was referring to is the "articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy" who currently occupies the White House.

Joe makes Miguel Bloombito look like Spike Lee.

Joe gets one Flava Flav Yeah Boyeeeeee Embarassing Racial Pandering the Left Confuses With Being Hip Award.












New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

The only people in New Jersey who think Christie did a bad job after the storms are the teachers union toadies and lackies, but nothing pleases those people. Christie jumped out in front of the gasoline problem and helped New Jersey citizens deal with a serious supply issue--a full ten days before his foolish counter-parts in New York jumped out of bed and said "HEY, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA! LET'S RATION GAS TO EASE THE LINES!" He also worked with Obama to airlift power equipment from the west coast in order to expedite power restoration. He did a bunch of other things, like not lying, not pandering and not blaming other things and people for the mess we found ourselves in. He also spoke like an adult instead of some spineless, flaccid politician (see New York). But the GOP thinks this is a bad thing.

This following letter from me is for Republicans only, but you Democrats can listen in if you want.
Dear Idiots,
Chris Christie working with and being friendly to Barack Obama DID NOT cost Mitt Romney the election. You lazy fools did. Chris Christie did what leaders do, he went to work and got help for the people he was given responsibility for.
Idiot conservative sycophants like Eric Bolling on Fox News don't know what the hell they're talking about when they insist Christie is a RINO because he worked with Obama. What was he supposed to do, tell Obama we didn't want the President around because he's a Democrat? That's not good politics people, and its even worse leadership.
Christie is a RINO because that's the only kind of conservative New Jerseyans can currently tolerate in our fetid cesspool of Democrat party policies, not because he worked with the president during a disaster.
Grow up.
Your frenemy,
Jack    
By the way Rightwing dingbats peddling the story that Christie blew the election for Romney: If you honestly think that enough people were swayed to change their vote from Romney to Obama because of what Christie did five days before the election, you are so silly you make Karl Rove and Dick Morris look like they know what they're talking about.

People are also taking Christie to task for his appearance on Saturday Night Live so soon after SUPERSTORM SANDY!!!! Let me ask you this: What exactly did Christie's appearance on SNL do to slow recovery efforts? Did his appearance take resources away from anyone? You might stretch it and say that maybe Christie's appearance was a little insensitive and self-serving, and I might actually somewhat agree with you, but I'm taking Christie to task because he is a horrible actor, not because he told some lame jokes on television.



Does Christie's "Jersey Guy" act get tedious sometimes? Absolutely. But I'll tell you what, we got our asses handed to us here in the past three weeks and in spite of what the rest of the world may think, we know when its time to be serious and when its okay to have a little fun. Give the Gov a break, he's been doing what we elected him to do.





















Governor Christie gets two Joe Pesci's, a Silvio Dante AND a Danny DeVito for doing what governors are supposed to do: govern without pandering.


* Note at the Bottom: It's 'Hurricane Sandy.' It wasn't a SUPERSTORM!!!!! when it was out in the ocean. It was a category 2 hurricane. The National Weather Service decided to call it a 'superstorm' after the fact. Probably because the NWS is a Federal agency and Federal agencies like to make things seem like we're all going to die. It was a friggin' hurricane that got sucked into a nor'easter. Stop it. While I'm at it, The Weather Channel anchors are the only people naming nor-easters. This is because they need to have something to file with the cool graphics they come up with for each weather event. Stop it.

** Second Note at the Bottom: Mayor Mike is affectionately known as Miguel Bloombito because of his utterly asinine and condescending readings in Spanish of what he just said in English. Watching him do this makes me embarrassed to be a human being. Yes, he gives me douche chills.  

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