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Monday, October 15, 2012

The President Didn't Mention Whether Nicki or Mariah Acted As Stupidly As the Cambridge Police

You can't tell me President Obama is not afraid to jump right into the issues that are most pressing to America at this time of stagnant growth, high unemployment, soaring deficits and trouble abroad.

In spite of his massive corporate wealth, dumb people
everywhere are afraid that this is Big Bird's future
under a Romney Administration.
Last week, Barack Obama got tough (from a few states away) on Mitt Romney over Romney's assertion that he would cut funding to PBS. A lot of dumb people who don't understand that Big Bird is a more powerful corporate entity than Romney could ever dream of being, got very upset by this. That's okay, they're dumb, so Big Bird is about all they can handle in terms of crisis.

Except when it comes to American Idol.

In full disclosure, I used to watch American Idol, and even though I believe contests and art are antithetical to each other, I still enjoyed the show--especially the dumb people who thought they could sing but couldn't.

I have stopped being interested in the show because it is pathetic, but in spite of that, I was unable to avoid the news that Nicki Minaj shot Nick Cannon because Mariah Carey clipped her fingernails in Randy Jackson's dressing room. Or something. I'm not really sure. I was too busy trying to survive the economic "new normal" to pay much attention, but I think I got the gist of the story.

That's actually not the gun Minaj threatened
Mariah Carey with, it's Ryan Seacrest's hairdryer.
Anyway, in spite of this tragic series of events, President Obama was able to step up and show just what kind of statesman he is. Obama weighed in this morning on this troubling event on Michael Yo's radio show which is cleverly titled The Yo Show:
Can you repair the relationship with Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj on "American Idol?" Yo asked.
Paraphrasing his speech to the UN last month, the President of the United States of America had this to say: "I think that they are going to be able to sort it out, I am confident. I'm all about bringing people together, working for the same cause. I think both outstanding artists are going to be able to make sure that they're moving forward and not going backwards."

Ever the hard-hitting journalist (otherwise why would the President appear on his show with everything else that's going on?), Yo then asked Obama who his favorite was.

"Mariah, she's actually done some events for us. I've gotten to know her and Nick. She's a wonderful lady. Nicki I don't know, but I've got her on my iPod."

So, if you want the President to like you, just give him stuff.

In other news, the President still hasn't figured out exactly how our Ambassador to Libya, Christopher Stevens was able to be brutally murdered during a pre-planned military-style attack on our Consulate in Benghazi, and he still hasn't figured out how his Administration mistook this attack for a protest about an anti-Islam video no one had really seen, in spite of real-time evidence to the contrary.

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