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Thursday, August 30, 2012

If A Politican Toots A Political Message With His Racist Dog Whistle and No One Knows What the Hell He's Talking About, Are All White People Still Racist?

Warning: This column is politically incorrect and purposely offensive. If you are an ill-informed liberal, communist, socialist or Democrat (or all four since they're the same thing!) STOP READING AT ONCE and contact your local Democrat field office for advice on how to proceed. For those of you who dare to continue, in spite of the warning you have just received, I will disclose as a point of political correctness that my love for Michael Jackson proves I am not a racist, plus I have many friends who are not white like me. On the other hand, my utter disdain for corporate rap does not make me a racist, it just proves I have some musical taste left. Anyway, regardless of who you are, you're probably going to get offended by this column.. Deal with it.

The term de jour from the rapidly-losing-its-grip Democrat Party and it's kept men and women in the MSM, is "racist dog whistle." I knew what they meant by it, but like so many terms and ideas that seemingly pop up out of nowhere during a political season, I wanted to know where it came from and why it was common lexicon all of a sudden.

Apparently the term started around 2000 during a successful campaign for right-wing Australian Prime Minister John Howard that had a lot to do with immigration. The guy who supposedly came up with the strategy, Lynton Crosby, is known as "Australia's Karl Rove." Since I know nothing about Australian politics and have absolutely no interest in learning anything about Australian politics, that's as far as I'm going to go. If you want more information, do a Google search or something.

Apparently, I'm thinking "I hate minorities." 

As I did more research on dog whistle politics, I became increasingly concerned for my sanity. My Internet search took me to several Communist websites, a raging maniacal blog by a white suburban housewife who has serious issues with men, especially conservative men like her ex-husband, a few Democrat sites, a very official and important looking site run by the Center for Social Inclusion, whoever the hell they are, and of course site after site about Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews.

Basically, the term means this: people who have limited knowledge about what the other side stands for believe there are certain words that are "cues" for people to act in certain ways, like rid the world of minorities or act racist, or steal from the poor,* or something, I'm not sure. Things like this used to be dismissed as silly conspiracy theories, but now they're the foundation of the Democrat Party belief system.

I saw this picture which I took from the American Labor Party site:

Since the people who run the American Labor Party site are communists and everything belongs to everybody, I don't need to give them credit for the picture I stole or cite the source further. I mean, right? It's communism.

What this picture says is that white people are targeted by Fox News because Fox News knows white people hate everyone except other white people (and even that's debatable if you're Irish or Italian, but that's news from 100 years ago). Anyway, the point of the communists who made this picture is that Fox News is racist and even though it might not be overt, the white people who are watching certainly understand the codes being used--and they're getting ready to jump out of their La-Z-Boys and Hoverounds and DO SOMETHING!

Then there was this gem from Tommy Christopher at Mediaite:

Right? Get it? I mean seriously, no way Romney was talking about
Obama's dismal record as President, he was talking about Obama's race, right?
Christopher actually said this.

And we all remember last week when the typically unfunny Mitt Romney had the unmitigated Ku Klux Klan-like gall to joke that no one has ever asked for his birth certificate. I am so disconnected to white dog whistle politics that I at first thought this was just some sort of dopey joke about the birtherism non-sense Obama has plagued himself with by his secretive behavior over his past. What I learned from the enlightened Left is that Romney was really referring to the fact that Obama is black, and black people don't have birth certificates, or something. I don't know, I got confused following the logic and dozed off.

And anyway, Obama forever put the birtherism issue to rest by printing up this button that people can buy from him.
For the record, I dislike Obama a great deal because of his ineptitude and politics but I never questioned that he was born in Hawaii. However, I do question whether he ever paid attention while going to school there.

All of this immersion in the logic of the Left led me to want to know what the codes are, because, well, I am white, and I feel like I might be getting left out.

I decided I needed a guide to help me navigate the coded messages Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan and all of the other white people I encounter on a daily basis are sending me. So here, for the first time ever, is all of the current dog whistle politics codes conservative white people are using to take over the world. Before we get started, understand I didn't make these codes up, I found references to each and everyone of them. Don't get all up in my grille with your hissy fit because I am a racist or some other non-sense, I'm just relaying what I learned.
  1. Those people - Blacks, immigrants, Hispanics, the people next door with the Chevy Nova up on blocks
  2. Them - Blacks, immigrants, Hispanics. Can also be "them people" if you are from the Deep South
  3. Deep South - A place where white people live
  4. Civil War - Current: white people finally get tired of free black people and get violent; Historical: White people in the Deep South liked things the way they were as far as them people was concerned
  5. 10th Amendment - (See Civil War) Has nothing to do with the individual states determining their own course and direction
  6. States Rights - slavery
  7. Jesus - against a woman's right to choose and wants Nativity scenes in front of Town Hall at Christmas
  8. Tea Party - Ku Klux Klan
  9. Barack Obama - Black person
  10. Inner City - Black person
  11. Urban - uppity Black person
  12. Urban youth - unemployed
  13. Welfare - Black people
  14. Budget cut - take things away from those people
  15. Fiscal Responsibility - time to stop helping those people
  16. School Choice - destroy teachers unions
  17. Voter ID - prevent them people from voting
  18. Angry - Black person
  19. Immigration reform - Prevent them people from coming here and mowing our lawns
  20. Unemployed - Black or Hispanic
  21. Women's Health - abortion, oh wait, that's Leftist dog whistle politics
  22. Woman's Right to Choose - abortion, oh wait, that's Leftist dog whistle politics
  23. Religion - Western: against a woman's right to choose
  24. Religion - Middle Eastern: terrorist
  25. Arab - terrorist
  26. Dred Scott Supreme Court Decision: GW Bush speak for banning abortion
  27. Blue Oyster Cult Song Godzilla: call to arms against Black and Hispanics
  28. Oil - money for white people who want to destroy the world
  29. Sweep the floor - good job for a black person (as taught to us by Newt Gingrich)
  30. Catholic - denying a woman the right to choose
  31. Immigrant - Mexican dude who steals work from teenagers
  32. Mid-west - a place where white people who grow corn live
  33. Banker - Jew
  34. Media mogul - Jew
  35. Ghetto - place where those people live
  36. Detroit, Southside Chicago, Cleveland - places where those people live
  37. Los Angeles - place where those people live
  38. Single - Gay
  39. Never married - Gay
  40. Gay - fashion designer or choreographer
  41. Anointed - Baptist from the Mid-West 
  42. Family values - anti-abortion
  43. Family values - homophobic
  44. Family values - pro-prayer in school
  45. Skeptic - anti-Global Warming
  46. Medicare reform - deny seniors citizens the chance to stay alive

I understand this list is simplistic and sophomoric, but hey, I don't make the codes, I just found references to them and listed them in one place.

* - Seriously, like the poor have anything I'm going to waste my time stealing. They're poor for crying out loud! You can't get rich by stealing from the poor. You people should know this by now.

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