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Friday, June 22, 2012

Gifting Obama...Because He's Worth It

Barack Obama is pulling out all the stops trying to get you to help him keep his nice cushy government job by donating to his campaign. The silly extremes he is going to are interesting in light of the fact that the dominant media has touted for a year that Obama is going to raise over $1 billion this campaign cycle. Little did we know he was planning on doing it by becoming a tchotke merchant.

The Obama campaign is like some bizzarro-world wackily liberal Lutheran Church or down-on-its-luck Kiwanis Club as it tries to hardsell you into supporting Obama. It's almost as if they realize his record won't do the trick, so, you know, Americans like cheap imported crap, so let's give the people what they want.

Let's take a look at how the Obama campaign is going to try to get you to part with what little money you have left so he can keep a job he's proven he's not very good at:

In this picture, a weird old hippy couple is chatting merrily with Barack about their AARP memberships and the fact that you just can't score good doojee anymore. The title of this picture is "One Seat Remaining" and it comes from a web page urging you to contribute a few bucks, and maybe, just maybe, you could have dinner with Barack. I feel like taking the chance just so I could ask him about American history and world affairs all night long and then challenge him on his answers. Go ahead, take a chance, have Dinner With Barack. By the way, I can't even imagine Bill Clinton prostituting himself like this.

Here's an official "I Bark for Barack" magnet for your car. Frankly, I have two dogs and if either one of them ever barked for Barack I would immediately revoke their voter registrations.

Since you're already destroying your children's futures by voting for Democrats and paying union dues, you might as well go all the way and completely screw your kid up by making him think Barack Obama is his baby-daddy (Presidentially speaking).

The next time you get a load on with a few Keystone Lights while waiting for your unemployment check to clear, you can be reminded that Joe Biden thinks you're a "champ."

I would suggest you buy this Barack Obama dog bowl now, so you'll both have somewhere to eat after you help Barack get re-elected.

There are a lot of "Latinos for Obama" and "African-American's Have Barack's Back" stickers and magnets. The LGB&T crowd is also pandered to, along with, oddly enough nurses, but I didn't see any "White People Stand Alongside Barack And Help Him In His Endeavors" stuff. I guess because that would be racist or something.

This is an actual screen shot from the Obama fundraising website that attempts to guilt you loyal Obamanistas into foregoing your "special day" gifts to help him keep his job. All of those people who celebrated Obama's sort of affirmation of the rights of gays to marry the partner of their choice didn't realize at the time that within weeks Obama would be showing up at their wedding receptions with his hand out. Or did they?
So do your part America! Buy trinkets! Support your man for President! And while you're at it, try to reconcile why a devoted Socialist who rails against the private sector and capitalism every chance he gets has stooped so low as to use the sale of cheap Chinese crap to help him keep his job.

By the way, if you're not embarrassed by your candidate selling tchotkes to get elected (regardless of who he is), well, you should be.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

did you have an extra "I bark for barack" bo car magnet? or know where i can find one? someone stole the other off my wife's car. not cool...