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Thursday, February 2, 2012

Rage Against The...Well, Just About Everything

Everybody just seems cranky and touchy. The entire country is suffering from a really bad case of PMS. In fact, I am sure that 73% of women reading this are offended to some degree by the previous sentence. We're all like a bunch of hungover 49ers fans sending death threat tweets to Kyle Williams. You people are getting out of control -- over politics, over football, over American Idol -- as if acting like a jackass is going to solve anything.

We've all become crampy and flatulent from the constant political stew we consume on a daily basis. Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, Alan Colmes, Eric Boehlert, et al, are stirring a ginormous pot of political gumbo and ladling it into our gullets as we tip our heads back and ask for more. The gumbo is horrible and missing a lot of ingredients, but hey, we're buying what they're selling so the pundits are making money and we're finding excuses to throw a hissy fit. Add Twitter, the blogosphere and other social media outlets and nobody pauses to taste the gumbo anymore, we all just complain about the spice. Sprinkle in a President who can only hold onto power by dividing, and you have our current climate of political rage.

Here's who to blame by sub-category, because you can't be an American in 2012 without assigning yourself to a sub-category:

The Left blames:
  • The Right for hating
  • The Tea Party for being racist and mean to poor people
  • George Bush for everything
  • People of faith for having faith
  • Millionaires and billionaires for earning their money on the backs of poor people
The Right blames:
  • The Left for being Socialism's BFF
  • The Occupy movement for being dirty and disrespectful (strike that one, the Right may have a point there)
  • Barack Obama for being inept, a socialist and a foreigner
  • Environmentalists and people who buy from L.L. Bean for being animists
  • Poor people for being poor
There used to be a vast majority of people who thought straight even if they had disagreements with the "other side," and those were the people we all depended on to keep the country moving forward. But I'm afraid those people are so busy trying to have original thoughts on Facebook and Twitter (or copying other people's original thoughts) that they've Tweeted themselves out of existence.

Election time used to be known as the "silly season" because, well, everybody started acting a little silly trying to get their candidates elected. I'm afraid 2012 will be an extended "ignorant season" instead.

Mitt Romney says he's not worried about the poor because they have safety nets, and if the safety net needs fixing, he'll fix it. Every media moron in the country is running around like they finally got the scoop that will give them an extended contract after finally trapping Mitt into his rich-guy cage. Does Mitt need to think a little deeper about the words he uses and the order he puts them in? Absolutely. Does Mitt actually not care about poor people? Please, your amygdala is over-riding your cerebrum again. I'll agree Mitt needs to figure out a way to communicate like a politician and statesman before he gets my vote, but seriously kids, stop flying off the handle everytime you think you heard something you didn't hear.

Same thing with Obama. Granted, he's a mess, but not because he's an evil socialist. He's a mess because he's in so far over his head he has to sit on a phone book to look like an adult in the Oval Office. I've got nothing against the guy, except for the fact that he has as much business in the White House as I have wearing a rakhis on my wrist in obervance of Raksha Bandham.* But every single thing that comes out of his mouth is not furthering the destruction of America.

Same thing with Newt and janitors. I'll withhold judgement on Ron Paul and a nuclear Iran.

Get a grip kids. Stop sniping and start listening. If you actually take the time to listen -- or have the patience to reasonably explain your own positions -- you'll find there is indeed a vast majority of people out there with functional intellects. Democracy is messy and watching Democracy work is like watching your mom make sausage. The former might make you cranky while the latter might make you skip Mother's Day and sausage for the rest of your life.

State your cases, make your points, but just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean you can get all enraged and forget civility. A little civility might actually be a good thing.

* - I picked myself to prevent you people from getting your granny-panties twisted up for picking on someone else, and I used a Hindu observance because we all know the only ethnic group its okay to pick on nowadays are Indians. Watch some network sitcoms or a Metro PCS commercial if you disagree.

I had considered using the following metaphors:
  • Me playing basketball (because I am under six foot eight and don't like basketball) but I didn't want to be accused of being racist
  • Me hosting a Seder (because I am not Jewish) but I didn't want to be accused of being anti-Semitic
  • My dogs playing chess (because my dogs don't play chess) but I didn't want to be accused of comparing Obama to my dogs

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