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Monday, December 19, 2011

A Special Holiday Message To Everyone, Or, Just Because You Have A Video Camera Doesn't Mean You're Obliged To Screw Your Kids Up

With the Holiday Season upon us I felt obligated to speak up about a subject that will have serious consequences for our society in about twenty years. Listen to me parents, you did stupid stuff when you were a kid, but luckily your mom and dad didn't have the technology to embarrass you in front of anyone other than Aunt Sally and Uncle Irv, and even that got boring after a while.

But now, you can embarrass your kids in front of the whole wide world.

Let's look at the first instance of getting famous on the back of a child's private and precious moment.

This video was posted December 26, 2008 and has received 91,417 hits. That means the video was viewed 91,417 times and unless these people come from an extremely large family, I'd have to guess the bulk of those hits were by strangers.

Was it necessary for these parents to publicly humiliate their daughters?

Sure they're excited, but how thrilled are they going to be in high school when every kid they go to school with has access to their private Christmas morning joy? Let's check back with them in five years.

Here's Ollie's first roller coaster ride:

This video has received 219,752 hits since it was posted on July 24, 2009.

Why do Ollie's parents think that Ollie wants the world to see him shrieking in terror on a roller coaster?

Why are Ollie's parents more concerned with getting a good shot of Ollie humiliating himself instead of comforting him?

Go Ollie! Entertain us!

I picked my nose after dancing at a family party when I was four and my family applauded my "Pick Your Nose Step." To this day I am scarred by that to the point of having never even considered dance as a career path. Imagine if my parents had videotaped it and posted it for the world to see.

In fact, sometimes Today's Mom is so anxious to be an Internet sensation she's willing to help her kids trash her house with flour so she can get on TV and get people to love and pay attention to her:

So parents, if you catch your kid sexting her BFF when she's thirteen, don't look around at society for someone to blame, because you crossed the line between private family interaction and public displays of intimacy years ago.

If your kid comes home and tells you he's being bullied, maybe before you call your Congressman to ask him what he's going to do about the big bullying problem in America, maybe, just maybe, that video you posted of your kid right smack in the middle of his emotional development got in the wrong hands.

Your kids are cute. Okay, what else you got? Let your kids live a nice quiet life filled with love and emotional support and don't saddle them with your complete unhappiness over your dull and boring life by letting the rest of the world watch them grow up.

Seriously, just because you can make your children's personal lives public doesn't mean you should.

Note at the Bottom to the Folks Who Own These Videos: These videos were found through public searches on YouTube, so if you didn't want me to make snide remarks about them and your family, you should have kept them private.

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