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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

In Honor Of the OWS General Strike Called For Today Here's A Few Things I'm Striking Against

I am writing this column from a sixth row aisle seat on a Southwest Airlines flight from Philadelphia to Denver. It's cramped and funny smelling but at least I'm not sitting in traffic in New Jersey. Since I am looking at working a 16 to 18 hour day today, I though maybe an open letter to the people who support the general strike was in order.

Dear People Who Support The General Strike,

Today is the day of the general strike the Occupy Oaklanders came up with last week (November 2 General Strike - posted 10-28-11). I am joining you by striking against a few things that I think should be striked against (pardon the syntax but there was no other way to put that).

First and foremost I am striking against the general strike by flying to Denver today to do my job so I can continue to earn a living so I don't have to go camp in an urban park and complain about my lack of prospects. I was in college when Jimmy Carter drove the Ford Pinto that was the US economy right into a drainage ditch and I was just starting out in my career as Ronald Reagan dug the rear tires out of the mud and helped get my crappy American made econo-car back on the road. I know about thin prospects and tough times.

So here is what I am striking against starting today:
  1. if you actually think there is a major political party in this country that wants to pollute the air and water, I am striking against you because you are stupid
  2. if you actually think there are politicians in this country that want to make laws that get women killed on the floor of some doctor's office, you are stupid and I am striking against you
  3. if you vote for people based on one narrow belief or belief-system at the expense of the defeat of a viable political candidate you otherwise agree with, I must take you to task because you are causing the entire country problems. Democracy is a process, not a destination
  4. if you honestly think the Federal government has your best personal interest in mind and is actually enthusiastic about taking care of you, you guessed it, I am on strike against you
  5. if you believe that regardless of the stupid life choices you make -- like taking out a mortgage on a piece of property you can't afford or getting a Master's Degree in ancient Greek pottery -- someone else should come to your rescue, you need to call your dad and mom because I am too busy trying to make smart life choices to waste time having sympathy for you. 
  6. if you think that Bill Clinton's sexual harassment accusers are politically motivated but somehow Herman Cain's aren't, I must inflate my giant inflatable rat on your front lawn
  7. if you think there are jobs that are beneath you because you are educated or somehow superior to someone else, then I can't feel sorry for you if you can't get a job
  8. if you have not taken the time to understand both sides of the political debate in this country and have simply signed on with one or the other without a full briefcase of facts, I must picket you because you are at the root of the political quagmire we are in today
  9. if you truly believe that Barack Obama and his political party are working hard to fix things but all of us mean conservatives are getting in the way, I'm on strike against you
How will I accomplish this strike, you ask? Good question. I am just one insignificant Reality-based Libertarian blogger and I am only able to exert a slight financial pressure on the world around me. But I can do the following:
  • I will stop spending my hard-earned capitalist money on you or your products (that goes for people who are affiliated with you such as advertisers) if you are overt in your support of theories and decisions that are detrimental to the future of this country
  • openly and unabashedly laugh at you when you try to convince me that I am wrong about anything in Items 1 through 9
  • stop giving you a pass on your cute little naivete. It's not so cute anymore and its ruining the country
  • stop feeling sorry for you when you get mad at me for explaining to you how wrong you are
  • stop being polite as you proselytize your naive and ill-informed political theories in my direction.
Other than that I will go about my daily, freedom-seeking, capitalist existence with a smile on my face and my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek as I watch you live out your frustrated life because you have put your leaders ahead of you in your personal list of priorities.

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