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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

We Should All Have a Little Skin In the Game, Or Millionaires, Billionaires and Poor People Should All Man Up

Lately, we're hearing a lot about taxing millionaires and billionaires because Warren Buffet's secretary pays more in income taxes than they do and quite frankly Warren Buffet's secretary is getting a little annoyed. Plus I was talking with a Lib the other day and he said his mom is a receptionist and she pays a lot in taxes and millionaires and billionaires don't. Frankly, I thought the guy was either lying or woefully without a clue, but I just smiled and nodded because I felt sorry for him.

Personally I dislike millionaires because they're so frigging rude to me. I don't know any billionaires. I remember one time it took me like three hours to get home because millionaire Jon Bon Jovi was holding a fundraiser for millionaire Al Gore at the Jovi mansion and the police closed all the highways to protect the rich people. Snotty bastards.

Our collective hatred for millionaires and billionaires, except for athletes, rappers and Warren Buffett, notwithstanding, I would like to offer a plan to help all of us Americans have some skin in the game, as our President likes to urge us to have. I already have so much skin in the game I've got road rash, so I should be left out of fixing the economy and deficit. Thanks for asking though.

If you're going to tax millionaires and billionaires a little extra because you failed Econ 101 or you went to Yale and you think more taxes will help the economy and deficit, go ahead. That will take care of the rich people.

Two classes down, one to go.

The poor people don't have any money but they have plenty of time. We could "tax" the poor people by making them sweep the streets, maybe pick up a little trash, and work at a soup kitchen once in a while. This will make me feel a little better about not getting screwed from all sides. I can not only take out my personal shortcomings on millionaires and billionaires, but I can rest comfortably after work knowing that poor people are doing their "fair share" as well.

If you find my idea distasteful then you need to face the following two facts:
  1. You are a class warfare supporter because you hate millionaires and billionaires, probably because you are jealous
  2. You are kind of supercillious and intellectually lazy because you feel sorry for poor people and feel they are incapable of chipping in now and again. Just because they don't have money doesn't mean they can't help out 
If it's okay to ask the class we don't like to pay more, then it should be okay to ask the class we feel sorry for to help out. Just sayin'

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