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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Five Things I Want In Our Next President

Here is my criteria for our next president. For your convenience I have formatted it into a handy list you can print out and carry around with you for reference.
  1. Good Luck. I want a president who is lucky, in a good way. Irish people supposedly have good luck, so a leprechaun or the Notre Dame mascot should do better than our current president in this category.
  2. Not depending on luck. I want a president who is smart enough and tough enough to make his own luck. That way when completely unrelated things happen around the world, my life won't get screwed up by our president's bad luck. A good candidate here would be Ernest Hemingway who famously told Gig to make his own luck.
  3. A plan. I think a good president would have a plan. A good plan, not a crappy plan, but at this point I'd entertain either. I think the guy who first said "bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part" would make a better president than the one we have now.
  4. Experience. I think some experience out in the world and not just in the neighborhood is a good thing. Unsuccessful Dutch politician Jan Peter Balkenende sums it up for our next president this way: "Bitter experience has taught us how fundamental our values are and how great the mission they represent."
  5. Understanding leadership. Our current president had this to say about leadership: "We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK. That's not leadership. That's not going to happen." This is just a dumb statement. A better presidential statement on leadership would be along the lines of "the buck stops here," of course as long as the next president doesn't misconstrue "buck" as "dollar."  

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