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Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Libertarian Manifesto: Can I Be A Libertarian Too? A 12-Step Program

During this whole debt debacle, I have succeeded in insulting a lot of people with my radical, dangerous, hard-Right views of fiscal responsibility, small government and personal freedom and responsibility. Many people have erased me from their Contacts List and a few have unfriended me on Facebook, which are now the modern litmus tests for popularity, I guess. I am okay with that, I've never even been close to being Prom King and I'm too old to start worrying about it now. I also never went out of my way to insult anyone, it just sort of happened, and, oh well. I don't take myself so seriously that I allow myself to get insulted by another person's opinions or political beliefs and neither should you.

That being said, people also stop me on the street and ask me how they could become a Libertarian and not be offended by politics, just like me. Here's how:
  1. You have to believe government is a necessary evil and not the be-all and end-all to your problems
  2. You have to believe that everything a government does comes with unintended consequences. Therefore the more a government does the more unintended consequences there are
  3. You have to believe you are capable of making decisions for yourself and your family and you have to believe I am capable of doing the same
  4. You have to believe there are better institutions than government to protect those who are unable to make those decisions
  5. You have to be wary of political leaders and especially politicians, you know, the whole be careful who you hitch your wagon to bit
  6. You have to know that we were lied to Left and Right during this past week but you also have to know that we're in a pretty deep septic tank of government incompetency and that it will take a while to take the baby steps needed to pump the tank out
  7. You have to understand that being free means more than just being able to smoke pot when you want to (Anarchists take note)
  8. Being a Republican is really more or less like being in a Methadone clinic for big-government addicts. You just gotta go cold turkey baby and believe in yourself
  9. You have to understand that government is like mold, the more you let it grow the more you hate to take a shower because, well, it's just gross
  10. You have to completely enjoy the feeling of living your life without being told how to live it
  11. You have to believe there is something bigger than you out there. I don't care what you call it or if you even have a relationship with it, but its there and its bigger than you. It's all about having perspective on where you fit in to the big picture
  12. You have to behave yourself and understand that your rights end where mine begin
Take your time, it's a process, but you'll be just fine..

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