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Monday, June 27, 2011

My Plan To Take Over The World, Part III

Last week I had to go to a bunch of seminars and meetings that were ultimately being held for my benefit and the benefit of the other attendees. I also attended a worship service that by definition was held for the benefit of the attendees.

What I saw during every single seminar was at least one fully grown adult human being thumbing away on their cell phone or iPad. In short, I saw bunches of people who couldn't be bothered with where they were, they were more interested in what was happening somewhere else. I even watched one middle-aged guy surf the Internet on his Smartphone during the worship service.

Now, people who are purposely disrespectful annoy me to no end, but that's just mostly because I am an idealist who wishes I lived in a world where people behaved themselves. Pragmatically speaking, I could care less if someone doesn't have the attention span or interest to actually pay attention to something.

What does bother me is how distracted I get watching these fools play with their mobile devices when they should be paying attention. Usually my inner-monologue sounds something like this:

Me: Look at that idiot texting and not paying attention.
Me: Pay attention.
Me: Can you believe this guy is on his iPad during a seminar? He's missing the whole thing!
Me: Pay attention! You're missing the whole thing paying attention to people not paying attention.
Me: This is unbelievable, I mean why even come here if you're not going to listen to what's going on?
Me (turning to my wife who actually pays attention): What did he just say? I wasn't listening.

So once I figure out how to block out the dopes on their mobile devices, I will have amazing powers of concentration and information retention, and I will then fully put into action my plan to take over the world.

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