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Monday, May 9, 2011

Why Libertarians and Anarchists Are Delusional

First a refresher:
  1. I believe I am better able to make decisions for myself and my family than any government entity whatsoever - even on the occasions when I make really stupid decisions.
  2. I believe the less influence some faceless beauracrat has over any aspect of my life, the better off I am.
  3. I believe there is not one thing civil service employees (another way to say government) will not screw up if given the chance.
  4. I believe that a successful society requires the goodwill of its inhabitants as well as concern about the welfare of others.
Okay, so after you read this don't write to me and explain to me how libertarianism and anarchy works. Because simply put, I know how they are supposed to work and they never will. Here's why...

I took my lovely bride of twenty-plus years and her mom out for lunch yesterday to celebrate Mother's Day. We had a nice meal, even if the busboy was a little over-attentive, (think Sergeant Carter from Gomer Pyle, USMC clearing tables). It was after lunch that I was once again reminded that true Libertarianism will never work.

The entryway of this establishment was two doors wide. One on the right and one on the left. In America we drive on the right. We also pass each other in hallways on the right. In a word, we stay out of each other's way and keep society flowing by moving on the right. When I go to the UK next week I will do all of these things on the left. Personal responsibilty dictates that we learn to use the correct doors. What side you pass people on has nothing to do with your political beliefs, so stop looking for an allegory.

Being a person who is concerned about societal flow and personal responsibilty, I pushed the door on my right to lead my family out of the restaurant. I was immediately met by the vacant grin of a middle-aged woman whose family was entering on their left and therefore right in front of me. You should note that the door on their right was unused at this particular time. Flummoxed by my sudden appearance the woman stopped dead in her tracks and stared at me. I let her pass which separated me from my family. Meanwhile, my family was being cut off by another family of typical New Jersey noveau rich thirty-somethings, the kind who are generally blind to the existence of other human beings. You know the type, unless you are one, and if you are one, please don't read this blog anymore, but I digress.

This family started by using the left hand door and then, seeing the space created by the vacantly grinning middle-aged woman, moved en masse to exit through the right hand door. The same door I was now holding open. Not content with merely being clueless, the toothpick chewing Jersey Shore wannabe dad stopped to tickle his soon-to-be obnoxious little girl right in the foyer between the doors. This lasted for maybe 5 seconds. Which is a long time for me when I am holding the door for a jackass.

At this point there were approximately thirteen people in this tiny little foyer, and no one was actually moving.

Simply put, because of other people, my family took almost 15 seconds to walk through two doors, on a beautiful May afternoon with no natural obstructions to said egress. This my friends, is a microcosm of the state of society today.

We Libertarians actually think we can have a society of people pulling together and living without government interference when most people in this country can't even navigate entering and leaving a building properly.

Good luck with that.

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