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Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Love My Son With All My Heart. I'm A Great Guy.

Contestant Number 4 actually beat out Barack Obama in the race to the top of the Jackass Heap. Barack was going to be entered for mocking and laughing at the guy who was concerned about high gas prices in Pennsylvania last week. Truly a Jackass Moment.

However, Philip Struthers represents all Jackasses everywhere. Not only was he caught on tape urging his son to poke another boy's eyes out and slam his head on the ground, he also played to the camera looking for his viral moment. Back in the day, kids would play baseball without adult input and they were better for it. They would also have fistfights without adult input (and without the glory of uploading their fight for all the Hip Hop Nation to get all worked up over). Now we have Dads like Philip Struthers trying to erase the failure of their own miserable lives by watching their offspring do what they never could. By the way, I am incorrectly capitalizing "dads" sarcastically.

Mr. Struthers was arrested and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor and child abuse charges. When contacted by a reporter he said "I love my son with all my heart. I am a great guy." For this statement alone he is a Jackass.

Watch the video of a Jackass in action.

The video linked above was uploaded to World Star Hip Hop Dot Com for all you thugs and shirtless potential Cops guest stars to enjoy.

Boys Who Had Fight Over Girl: Not Jackasses.

Philip Struthers: Hall of Fame Jackass.

Honorable Jackass Mention: Any website or artist glorifying directly or indirectly the low level functioning of 41-year-old raving heathen barbarians.

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