Header Picture

Header Picture

Monday, April 11, 2011

Contestant #1: Tiger Woods

I found myself watching the last couple hours of Masters coverage yesterday, and for the briefest moment I actually rooted for Tiger Woods to pull out a redemptive win.

Then I listened to him get interviewed after he finished his round.

Interviewer: "Do you think you played well enough to win today?"

Tiger Woods: "We'll see. I'm one stroke behind." Then he flashed a smile that was so obnoxious and condescending I thought I was back in divorce court with Lady Voldemort.

Tiger. Listen to me. You are a disgusting pig of a man, yet people are still looking for some sign of redemption. We buy the products you endorse, we watch golf when you play, but you still treat us all like we are somehow interrupting you. Personally I hope you never win another tournament and the bimbo farm dries up. Maybe then you'll understand how blessed you actually were.

Until then, or the day after Hell freezes over, whichever comes first, I'm rooting for Rory McIlroy. He had a tough day and acted like a regular human being through it all.

Rory. Not a Jackass.

Tiger. Jackass.

No comments: